Monday, December 1, 2008

miserable much?

AM linked me to this a while ago, but it's so astute I have to meme it for y'all. From

7 Reasons the 21st Century is making you miserable

Some excerpts to whet your palate:

"Lots of us were born into towns full of people we couldn't stand. As a kid, maybe you found yourself in an elementary school classroom, packed in with two dozen kids you did not choose and who shared none of your tastes or interests. Maybe you got beat up a lot. But, you've grown up. And if you're, say, a huge DragonForce fan, you can go find their forum and meet a dozen people just like you. Or even better, start a private room with your favorite few and lock everybody else out. Say goodbye to the tedious, awkward, painful process of dealing with somebody who's truly different. That's another Old World inconvenience, like having to wash your clothes in a creek or wait for a raccoon to wander by the outhouse so you can wipe your ass with it. The problem is that peacefully dealing with incompatible people is crucial to living in a society. In fact, if you think about it, peacefully dealing with people you can't stand is society. Just people with opposite tastes and conflicting personalities sharing space and cooperating, often through gritted teeth."

I love reason #3: "Texting is a shitty way to communicate."

After reading inane flames from some internet trolls over coffee this morning, I also love the following graph, posted by the blog's author:

"In my time online I've been called 'fag' approximately 104,165 times. I keep an Excel spreadsheet. I've also been called 'asshole' and 'cockweasel' and 'fuckcamel' and 'cuntwaffle' and 'shitglutton' and 'porksword' and 'wangbasket' and 'shitwhistle' and 'thundercunt' and 'fartminge' and 'shitflannel' and 'knobgoblin' and 'boring.' And none of it mattered, because none of those people knew me well enough to really hit the target. I've been insulted lots, but I've been criticized very little. And don't ever confuse the two."

"The problem is you are hard-wired by evolution to need to do things for people. Everybody for the last five thousand years seemed to realize this and then we suddenly forgot it in the last few decades. We get suicidal teens and scramble to teach them self-esteem. Well, unfortunately, self-esteem and the ability to like yourself only come after you've done something that makes you likable. You can't bullshit yourself. If I think Todd over here is worthless for sitting in his room all day, drinking Pabst and playing video games one-handed because he's masturbating with the other one, what will I think of myself if I do the same thing?

You want to break out of that black tar pit of self-hatred? Brush the black hair out of your eyes, step away from the computer and buy a nice gift for someone you loathe. Send a card to your worst enemy. Make dinner for your mom and dad. Or just do something simple, with an tangible result. Go clean the leaves out of the gutter. Grow a damn plant."


  1. Wow- that was on Cracked? Amazingly insightful for Mad's ugly sister.

    Oh- and its "Whet" your appetite, wangbasket.

  2. that's funny. i always thought that "wet your appetite" stemmed from drinking alcohol before eating, as in "drinking half a bottle of scotch really wet my appetite for turkey on Thanksgiving." edited, Porksword.

  3. drinking PBR and masturbating is totally redundant. kind of like watching the Bears and getting kicked in the nuts at the same time.

  4. That Cracked writer, David Wong, is surprisingly good at couching profound observations in comedy:

    The 10-Minute Suicide Guide

    10 Things Christians and Atheists Can and Must Agree On